A Trauma Informed Lens on Social Media and Mental Health (Part 2)
Part 2: Laying the Land from a Trauma Informed Lens
Looking at this through a trauma informed lens is a multi step process so I’ll lay out the map before we take the journey. First, a bit of colloquial trauma defining and parts theory by Dick Schwartz. We think about how trauma happens in the exact moment and then how we cope with it in the times to come. Then, a number of nuances specific to trauma as to how and why one might get stuck.
There are many definitions of trauma but one way I explain it at dinner table conversations is it is something that happens and in that moment, it is too much for our system to process. It is stored in the body and its adjacent systems, to tell the tale over and over again until we are able to be present with it fully. And just like how if we have a splinter in our foot, we will walk all sorts of funny to not touch the pain, so is true internally with trauma. To cope with the unprocessed material, we develop different parts to help protect or manage feeling that pain. Dick Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems, has brought this “parts” language to therapy offices around the world and to the collective consciousness. Parts language has helped millions recognize we are not just one part, but have many parts with different feelings, motives, and behaviors. For example, it is possible for one part of me to be happy and another part of me to be sad.
How do we cope with trauma? Humans develop ways of being, thoughts, and behaviors in order to help us navigate life and survive. There are some behaviors that were developed, especially in times of trauma, that though were once helpful, may eventually become non-serving. For example, you were abused when you were young and it was dangerous to object and speak up. Now as an adult, you have learned to repress your voice and not speak up for your needs. How do parts fold into this? There are a couple of parts present; one part that has a need and wants to speak up. Another protector part prevents it because it was taught that it was dangerous. On a very basic level, it becomes an issue of updating a file. There is a part that has not yet been updated to realize you are no longer in the old abusive scenario when you were young. You are now a full grown adult with your friends who love and care for your needs and it is no longer dangerous to speak. However without healing, these parts conflict.
How can we heal? These once important and life saving behaviors usually can’t be shifted until the things they were once serving are seen, cared for and a different way set forth to guide us to new and better behaviors. This can be a painful process because it requires us to let go of something that we built to help us live, it requires us to be with the difficult experience and confront the thing we were protecting ourselves from, it requires us to let go of the identities and attachments we formed. This, I would say, is at the core of trauma healing.
So, let’s now apply that lens to social media and global health. We’ll explore what part media plays in our survival, and why, from a trauma perspective, we are stuck in this never ending cycle and can’t seem to get ourselves out.
Media and social media plays a part in the global family constellation. It plays the role we have asked it to play for us, a protector part warning us of all possible dangers. It has learned to be hypervigilant, always on watch, to catch any possible danger coming our way, our neighbors way, our country’s way, our planet’s way.
The global loudspeaker on blast 24/7 of all the things we need to be fearful of is never ending and it is no wonder our global psyche is continually in a sympathetic response. And the question is, why are we so hijacked and stuck? 1) Our own biology, 2) it’s ingrained in our survival instinct, and 3) a nuanced trauma response
Our own biology keeps us in this loop. This loudspeaker appeals to the oldest structure in our brain, the reptilian brain, responsible for instinct and survival, it’s main focus is avoiding pain.
A wise survival instinct. To parallel this to trauma, I’ll share a core yet key understanding of developmental trauma, specifically that which happens between a child and a caregiver. When a caregiver is the one abusing a child, the child must choose between their own real lived experience (harm) and their caregiver. This puts them in the ultimate dilemma. The caregiver is responsible for their life, shelter, food, and love. At some point, the child must disavow themself and choose the caregiver. It is actually an intelligent survival mechanism. However, the consequence from this is learning behaviors to shut down their own experience, their body, their needs, their voice, etc. To bring this to the role of social media — they have played a protector role for us, we have depended on it and tied its presence in our lives to some sense of safety. Now that it is causing more harm than good, it is hard for us to know how to stop choosing it.
Another discovery within trauma shows that those who grew up in a traumatic environment with abusive relationships, coming into a calm, secure, and loving relationship can actually be quite dysregulating. It can feel scary to do something that our system is not used to. So, as current generations are born into the world of the always on global loudspeaker, our brains are saturated with the mix of dopamine, oxytocin, adrenalin, cortisol to cope with the continual onslaught of information and fear. And it may feel dysregulating and uncomfortable to some to go into anything other than that. Paint scene, all the people in nature still tethered to their phones. This is just the beginning of a trailhead to inquire into why we can’t get unhooked. But let us return back to the main discussion.
Part 3. Coming to Terms With Our Current Situation and a Path Through